"sometimes I just don’t know what to say"

August 10th, 2004

Dearest Miss Spears,

It has never felt so good to call you “Miss Spears”. I get the chills every time I think people might start calling you “Mrs. Federline”. I keep imagining that on your wedding day I will be able to burst through that church door and just say “STOP!”. Then everyone would remain shocked, Kevin would let his pants fall down, the priest would sigh and close his heavy book, and then you would wake up at that moment and realize that you were just about to make one of your biggest mistakes in life. So by then I would have already arranged a taxi to wait for you outside the church, and you would go running out, frightening all the pigeons in your way… Well, that’s just me dreaming, and I don’t want to get my hopes up too high.
Strangest thing has been happening these last few days! Normally you’d think that when school’s finished, you’ll have all the time in the world to other things, such as writing letters to people that don’t read them. Then you land up finding a summer job that goes on for four weeks, and you think to yourself, “well as soon as that’s over, I’ll be sure to have all the time in the world!” So now the summer job is over and you realize that you have even less time to do the things you want to do. So most ironically, it is during school period that I have most time to talk to you. It’s not that I don’t want to… maybe sometimes I just don’t know what to say.
Anyhow, what I had to say today has already been said. On top of it, I’ve got a list of people I still want to write a letter to, including my family in South Africa. Therefore I’ll be leaving you for now, hoping that you’re nearly fully recovered from your knee injury and that life treats you kind. See you soon!

Nikki